Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I'ma gonna change the channel.

Wow. I'm tired. I spent most of yesterday and today editing my films and then writing my paper. It really took a lot out of me, especially with my lack of sleep and the weight I've put back on. I'll be fine in a day or so and I'm serious about going virtually vegetarian starting tomorrow, not even waiting for my birthday. I'm still going to eat meat for protein, but my breakfasts will be fruity and my lunches full of chicken caesar salads with little dressing and the like. I need to fill up on fiber, these refined carbohydrates just aren't working for me.

The film projects themselves went pretty well. The primary one, the one that I initially conceived of and actually WANTED to shoot regardless of the assignment, turned out very nicely. I showed it to the friend I worked on it with, and he was surprised at the quality. "A lot less amateurish than I expected" were his exact comments. Keep in mind that this guy tends to be hyper critical about a lot of stuff and he seemed genuinely impressed and pleased with what we'd done. I think it was a good start, and I'm proud of it. What I imagined in my head is pretty much what we got on the screen, and I look forward to doing more complicated and interesting projects in the future. I don't know how the paper is going to do in the class, I think it'll be an A because the actual scenes are solid, but man was it worth doing. I really wanted to complete something like this in this year. It didn't have to be spectacular or salable, just solid and...complete. By the way if anyone wants to take a gander at it I can upload it to you via AIM in a pretty high res version. It's about 70 megs and takes about 25 minutes at my cable modem upload speed. This is mostly for my real life friends, of course, since they're the only ones who have actual interest in the things I do, but the offer's open to whoever wants a gander. Take heed that it's a silent film and filmed for a class though, so don't expect a laugh riot or even anything particularly dramatic and interesting. That'll come later.

It's pretty amazing to me how much TV and movies can suck when it comes to dialogue. The current promo for Alias actually has the following exchange in it.

Bad Guy: What's your name?
Jennifer Garner: I'ma
Bad Guy: I'ma what?
JG: I'ma gonna kick your ass! BOOM.

I have no idea how to take that. Is it supposed to be the ultimate in camp? Is it supposed to be clever? It's not. Who responds to I'ma with I'ma what? Is the guy in fourth grade? He looks to be in his 30's.

In the movie Torque there are a whole lot of classic lines but in the 3 minutes I watched of it I think I got to see one that couldn't be topped. Biker dude turns to bad guy who emerges from a car and says "What is it about driving cars that makes you all such assholes?"

Later in the movie, apparently (I checked the memorable quotes page for more gems) this exchange happens:

China: You messed with the wrong chick!
Shane: [Shane knocks China off her bike] Looks like you did, bitch!

I'm convinced that scripts like Torque aren't actually written. They congeal on the page from some sort of orthographic pollution out there in the universe. I think more screenwriters need John McEnroe hanging over their shoulders reading what they write and screaming "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS" any time they put down a 'Torque' line. It would make the world a better place.

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