Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I am the warrior!

I had a pretty good weekend. It was the wild card round of the NFL playoffs, and I wanted to watch the games even though I haven't watched nearly as much football this year as I had in the past. I ended up getting to see the games, but not alone. On Saturday I went over to my friend Gabe's house and he Aaron and I watched the games together while Aaron and I talked smack incessantly about our picks (I ended up going 3-1 while he went 2-2.) Gabe wasn't that into the games but he seemed to enjoy watching us bicker and the Chargers/Jets tilt was so good that even a non-football fan couldn't help but get caught up in the endgame, especially the part where Herman Edwards inexplicably refused to take any timeouts when the Chargers had first and goal with a couple minutes left.

After the games we decided to play a game ourselves, and needing a masculine pursuit on par with the gridiron game we selected the only sport playable by three people that can compete with Football in terms of manliness. We played dominoes. I demonstrated my superior intellect and manly prowess by beating the two of them in three matches in a row, the only three we played. For the last one I literally had my hand tied behind my back.

Sunday Aaron came over here and we watched the sucky games together. It was fun but it went on a little long and the level of competition was not high. Things picked up at the end when we put on an 80's pop soundtrack and muted the TV. Football is surprisingly entertaining in that format. Afterwards we went out for a walk and had a deepish conversation. Good times.

Of course football and friends weren't the only side of the weekend. The evil stepsisters stayed over and much discomfort was had by all. The less said the better. My Mom's on her way to Africa now which means I have 2 months of privacy to write and look for work that will allow me to move to some cheap shit hole in a drug-ridden neighborhood. Looking forward to it.

My boss is back from Europe which means work will start again soon. I think that's a good thing, though I could use a little more time between the big trip preparation and my return to workaday life. Oh well.

Conservatives have been up in arms about how 'Liberals' are claiming that the U.S. is not the most generous nation on earth, not even close to it. Part of their argument is legitimate (when judging the generosity of a nation one must take private charitable contributions into account) but part of it is so weirdly inauthentic that I can't believe anybody could actually believe it. They argue that military aid should be included in the calculations. Now while this makes sense for things like use of military cargo jets to fly in supplies, or sending the Army Corps of Engineers to help with reconstruction projects, they want to include the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I can't even imagine a scenario in which a thinking person could argue that making war on a country counts as charity, especially given what we know about these two wars. Neither was pitched as an act of largess but rather an act of self-defense (by the Bushie Bushie morons). Do the conservatives actually want letters from homeless Iraqis appreciating the unasked for and violently opposed "aid" we are giving them? Frankly I think the destruction we have caused should be taken OUT of our foreign aid calculations. First do no harm, right? America is beyond stingy, it is an egomaniac of a country clearly out for its own gain above all else and damn the consequences. That argument is a sick and perverse one, and someone should point out that these people are beyond liars, they are bald-faced.

P.S. I will change my tune if I ever see a letter such as the following:

Dear America,

Thank for the great charity you have brought to our nation. My husband was killed by a bullet donated to him from the muzzle of one of your powerful rifles. As it sliced through his liver and blew out his spine I know that he was quite grateful that he was not expected to pay for the shot that killed him. While he was not a terrorist he shared the first name of a suspected one, Mohammed, so it was probably for the best. I also want to thank you for the hood you donated to my brother while he was imprisoned. Also innocent he is very happy to have received such a fine piece of cloth. The electrodes you attached to his testicles were not in as great shape, and I would remind you that here in Iraq we were not lacking in electrodes under Saddam Hussein and do not need shipments of them. Unlike gunning us down in the streets, torturing us in prisons is not much of a change. I am also grateful, of course, for the gasoline you donated for use of the hummer that ran over my son. He dodged out into traffic to try and flag down the Americans who had given him candy and toys a few days earlier because he wanted some, but you could not spare time from your busy day to so much as slow down before your wheels crushed his small frail body into so much pulp. It was very charitable of you to pay for the extraction of that oil from our national reserves and I can not believe you are not being credited for it. The world is a strange place. I have to go now, donated bombs are dropping in my neighborhood and I will soon have to take the bodies of my dead friends, killed by donated shrapnel, for burial. Thank you for your generosity. May Iraq and the world never forget what you have done here.


Iqbaa al-Shaquia.
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