I realized that I hadn't been swimming for a VERY long time. It was something I used to be good at and I'm a little rusty but I still feel very comfortable in the water and don't fear drowning or even swallowing any water I don't want to. There are so many things that I take for granted as parts of myself that I haven't engaged in SO long it's somewhat sobering. When was the last time I rode a bike? Or took a hike up a mountain. The thing is that doing these things alone is kinda boring and sad, and I have nobody to do them with. If I asked most of my friends they would think I was either joking or hitting on them. They are not outdoorsy types.
And once again I wish to be older. I'm tired of schooling and fooling around and 19 year old friends and feelings of uselessness. I have a lot more to say but I don't think I should spend this last day here typing up journal entries so I will say more later. I just felt the need to mark my time in the lake as special in the hopes that I will never again forget who I am and the parts of me that I have long forsaken.