There were five scripts being read and the thing started late so, with awards given out at the end, it took the better part of 2 hours. During this time I don't think I changed my expression once. For one I was pretty jealous of the parties involved, since they were closer to the dream than I am, and for another there was only one thought circling through my head most of the evening.
Piece of cake. I can do that.
It's not that the scripts were bad, though they varied in quality, so much as they were not dazzling. I focused on imagining them in paper form rather than performed by live actors, as they were, and I was surprised. The actors were, for the most part, excellent, and I could see where people without directorial ambitions or imaginations have trouble reading a script and understanding how it relates to a movie, since they add so much. Nonetheless I kept seeing mistakes or problems as the readings went along, some minor some major, and thinking back to my own work and realizing that not only am I not alone in not getting things perfect the first time, but these people don't even have it right when they're submitting them as thesis work. I can do that.
After the readings I managed to talk to the head of the program for all of 2 minutes after stalking him for what felt like 45 hours (There was a party where everyone else knew each other and I got to stand around like a fat wallflower while he continually circled the room away from me and I avoided interrupting him.) That didn't matter much, but what I did get from the evening was confidence and even a touch of arrogance. So I'm going to hole myself up for the next month or so, work on losing a little more weight and hammer away at the keyboard to finish two feature scripts, then worry about where to go professionally from there. Hopefully I'll be able to finagle a step in the right direction through a couple promising leads but if not then fuck it, I'll worry about that when it comes.
I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. He's going to tell me I have to lose weight, but in a very gentle way. Then he's going to try to sell me fish oil. I'm just waiting for fumoffu to finish medical school so I can start getting my free weekly prostate exam.