Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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The allegations cannot be denied

Further investigations have revealed disturbing truths about genericrick. He was long considered a patsy, just a mouthpiece for his more popular friends, like theferrett or jimbo12 but the facts paint a very different story. Unbeknownst to anyone:

genericrick speaks truth to power because power is GAY.

genericrick wasn't alive in 1941, but is DICK CHENEY'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER!

genericrick still refuses to believe that Melrose Place was canceled.

genericrick is considered a raw food by most experts.

genericrick was known as "Prescriptionrick" until his patent ran out.

genericrick has a deep seeded fear of urinating alone.

genericrick wouldn't be able to bring you to climax but would sure like to try.

genericrick can't understand why Bronson Pinchot isn't a bigger star, but blames it on MATT DRUDGE.

genericrick is hypoallergenic in the WORST POSSIBLE WAY.

genericrick continually stalks and rapes P.J. Carlesimo because it is a VICTIMLESS CRIME.

genericrick wants a spanking from IMELDA MARCOS. Wants it BAD.

genericrick was considered the smartest man in America, but then he spoke.

genericrick considers Warren Harding to be the lowest form of humor.

genericrick has a secret in his pants that could CHANGE THE WORLD FOREVER.

genericrick trolls the Internet for naked pictures of your mom.

genericrick murdered Nicole Simpson and hides out on Golf Courses.

genericrick has the world's only sexually transmitted case of the WOPs.

genericrick was the one who suggested Prince change his name, but to something sensible, like Melvin.

genericrick ain't misbehavin', but not for lack of trying.

genericrick's base are belong to MARTIN SCORSESE.

genericrick wasn't bulimic when you started reading this, but now he just might be.

genericrick won the Nobel prize for NOT GIVING A FUCK!

Stay tuned as further allegations surface. If you are at all concerned about your own background please turn yourself in for investigation by my gnomish Pinkertons, but only if you feel you're ready to know.

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