I'm way too contradictory in too many ways. Christ I'd give up all the stuff that's good in my life, the money and the supposed brilliance, just for a taste of peace. No I wouldn't, but I would like to believe that there's something at the end of this road I'm traveling. I hate having to do all this stuff with no guarantees. There are no guarantees in life but goddamn it I want one. I wish I believed in god.
I honestly think that if someone gave me a chance I could make them happy. I honestly believe that, but doesn't everybody? This monologue isn't really a good way to communicate, I keep coming up with conventional thought that everyone has had. What's the point of my posting if I'm just going to re-iterate shit you already know? Maybe next time I'll talk about how I think things should be rather than why I'm unhappy with how they are. There's a good chance you won't give a damn either way.