Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Stuff that's been going on with me

Well, I've been sick for the last few days. Nothing serious, but a stomach ailment and a migraine today. I don't think this is psychosomatic brought about by my new search for work, just a happy coincidence. I'm getting some rest and trying to get some work done and things aren't so bad. By the way for those who signed my Pledge of Criticism, the Metamorparis piece is a good place to start. There's a new startup website with a call for humor submissions and I'm thinking of sending that in. My last experience with a startup was not good, but I need a platform of some sort and if it worked out it would at LEAST be potential resume bait. You gotta start somewhere. If there are other pieces of mine that you think could be shined up like a prize pig feel free to let me know.

I talked to my ex-boss and will be seeing him on Wednesday to sever all connections with that job. Can't say I won't miss it at all, but I won't miss the UTTER LACK OF COMMUNICATION. How could I? You can't miss a lack of something, unless that something is like foot-pain or crabs.

I have stopped drinking alcohol altogether. I was doing it for health reasons, but those studies are on shakier scientific ground than I first thought, and I just don't like drinking. Maybe I wanted to see if I'd become an alcoholic too. I didn't. The fact is that the thing I liked about alcohol the most was finding drinks that tasted good. I didn't like how it made me feel and I didn't like the calories. I know what my addiction is, and it ain't booze. If you offered me the choice between a birch beer or a real beer I wouldn't have to think twice about which one I wanted and I wouldn't regret gulping down the birchy goodness.

The Sun is the WORST NEWSPAPER OF ALL TIME. LOOK at the first picture caption. They're not even TRYING to be objective or live in reality. Newsflash people, with the MILLIONS of random shapes and patterns that occur in the world some are BOUND to look a little bit like your impression of Jesus or Mary or Vishnu or whoever. What does this mean? NOTHING. It's the human tendency to see patterns in things that aren't there, which is a maladaptive feature of our tendency to see real patterns. If you think this is meaningful then you are an idiot. Period. Full stop. The story's over.

I'm considering writing a few more Paris Hilton horror-comedy stories. If this is offensive to you I apologize. If you merely find it boring because you think I have no talent then I POOP ON YOU!

I've lot some weight and I'm optimistic that I may be able to get down a ways without seriously dieting. After that it's TREADMILL TO THE XTREME!
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