A lot of people think they're goth, but most aren't. They're just weak ass camel raising fagetass homos or some thing. Not me. Not Sylvester LaToush I'm as goth as it gets.
I'm so goth when my dad bought me the new silver Jordan shoes I went straight to the corner store to buy a sharpie and color them in.
I'm so goth I have two piercings in each ear.
I'm so goth I have a kickass band. It's called Charlie Monroe.
I'm so goth that when I go to the movies I have a hard time picking between the red and black Twizzlers because one makes your mouth look bloody and the other makes it...black.
I'm so goth my demon tattoo has his own tattoo...of a demon.
I'm so goth that when I cry during sex my girlfriend knows it's because of how goth I am and it TURNS HER ON.
I'm so goth I changed the ring on my mom's cellphone to "The Beautiful People."
I'm so goth I got fired from my job at the mall for stealing black lipstick.
I'm so goth I don't go to the beach with under SPF 100 sunblock.
I'm so goth that if I got married I would register at J.C. Penny AND Danse Macabre.
I'm so goth I cried at the end of Old Yeller, but it was about the state of our society and the meaninglessness of life, totally not about the stupid dog.
I'm so goth I failed English for turning in a paper about "Things that make me happy" blank.
I'm so goth I only drink Halloween flavored Kool-Aid.
I'm so goth everyone in the gated community calls me "That goth kid."
I'm so goth I got kicked off the baseball team for using up all the eyeblack.
I'm so goth I drew a bat blinking in a cave at night for art class.
I'm so goth I smoke just for the cancer.
I'm so goth I own a fishnet windbreaker.
I'm so goth I was into Marilyn Manson back when he was on Mr. Belvedere.
I'm so goth I got a dog just so I could steal his collar.
I'm so goth that when I draw a rainbow it's seven shades of black.