That's right. COLD!
With an assist from Kenny "lipstickboi" G I managed to get the necessary piece of plexi-glass to fit in my window and with that and a bunch of duct tape I now officially have air conditioning in my room. It's nice. I've set it at 75 degrees for now, but may have to go a little higher. Of course there's a 86% chance that due to my not being able to screw it into the frame properly it's going to plummet from my eighth story apartment and kill some in the alley below, but I'm surprisingly okay with that if it means I'll be sitting in comfort from now on.
So what did we learn from this experience?
We learned that if you're willing to wait 18 days for the cool comfort of an air conditioned room you can save up to $28 on installation costs, which will probably be lost in 2 months due to increased electricity bills from improper sealing of the window.
We learned that air conditioning makes the sweltering heat in the rest of the house seem even more...well...sweltering to the point where you actually fear death by heat stroke during the long trek between your room and the fridge.
We learned that if your girlfriend gives you the choice of either helping you with the air conditioner or unfathomable pleasure between the sheets you ALWAYS PICK THE AIR CONDITIONER. Orgasms come and go, but a night of sleep where you don't wake up drowning in a pool of your own sweat? That's forever, man.
I'm sick and my throat is incredibly hoarse and it sucks.
Also the air conditioner is very unlikely to fall out the window, and if it did it wouldn't hurt anybody because the alleyway is sealed off from the street by big wrought iron gates and the only people who go into it are building maintenance men who, to my knowledge, never walk beneath my window anyway. Yes, I have spent significant time peering over the windowsill to see if anyone would walk down there. No, I did not intend to spit on their heads and then dive back into my apartment, why would you ask?