I think what strikes me most about this incident is my inability to process it in a meaningful way.
World Trade Center go BOOM. It's gone, wiped from existance. A pile of rubble. Go boom.
Thousands of people are dead. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE DEAD less than five miles from me. A part of MY CITY lies in ruins. Rubble and boddies litter the streets where I've bought hot dogs and wandered aimlessly and gotten tired and frustrated walking to the subway after a fruitless day of attempted shopping.
My world has changed. THE WORLD has changed. America is no longer seperated from the conflicts by an ocean. They have brought it to US. They have taken the conflict onto our shores and made it so that our men are the ones who lie dying in the remnants of what used to be a building and our women lament. Our children are dead and will have no future, never grow up or marry or have babies of their own. Not so many children this time, but some nonetheless.
Part of me says that it doesn't matter that WE were the ones to die this time
Part of me says "Now the world will see a rage it has yet to know."
Pearl Harbor lead to the atom bomb being unleashed.
What will happen because of this? America has lost its innocence AGAIN, a sleeping generation has been punched in the nuts. We have been a bully and a pain in the ass and now someone is hitting back like Columbine. Will we be a flabby beast incapable of revenge or will they awaken a lean hungry population wanting nothing more than rivers to run red with arab blood?
I don't know what I think. I don't want more senseless hate and killing. I don't want to let the bad guys get away with this shit either and I DON'T want to learn it was just 10 people and that's it.
I want a lot of people to hate and kill. But I don't want to stoop to their level. That's why I'm glad on some level that George Bush is the president. He will do something stupid and mean and vengeful and although I don't condone it I will enjoy it. And I can't apologise feeling like that.
It doesn't FEEL real. It's like when my father died. It just feels so fucking impossible. It's like waking up and the sky's not there. You just want to go back to bed until somebody fixes things.
Babies are being born right now into a world where there are no Twin Towers. Where America is not safe and the enemy has no honor or concious.
The wierdest part of the day would have to be talking about this with the Actor who played Tommy on Third Rock from the sun. Hollywood fakeness combined with bitter New York Reality. I don't know which will win out in the end.