Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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The employment line

So apparently I have a job. I say apparently because the details have been a bit nebulous to say the least. "Someone will contact you later with that information" has been the most common answer to my queries. Honestly I wouldn't be shocked if my orders for Monday included "Go to Times Square. Find a man in a blue Cardigan with a small mustard stain on the right shoulder and establish visual contact. Do not speak to him, just watch. At precisely 9:03 AM he will clear his throat. If he does so twice proceed West until you see a young girl on a pink bicycle, she will give you further instructions. If he does so only once go home, you will not be needed that day."

The job in question is, of course, related to the interview I had a few weeks ago where I never heard back. The woman from production called me during the week to apologize for taking so long to get back to me and offer me a P.A. position. I'm not sure what happened, maybe it really was an oversight or maybe a certain guest star shot a guy for bringing him the wrong size Chai Latte and they need a replacement. Regardless I got the call and now I'm the new Production Assistant, which is show-biz talk for the person who brings the coffee to the people who bring the fancier coffee to the people who bring the REALLY good stuff to the people who actually matter. I've got a Monday call-time, as yet undetermined (for peons there are three basic call-times. Just before the break of dawn, 4 AM, or 'Why don't you show up 6 o'clock the night before, just to be safe) at the set.

I'm not really sure how I feel about this sudden bout of employment. On the one hand the money would be nice (If there is going to be any money. None of that has been cleared up yet. When I did office work I saw what P.A.s are paid and how they're treated too. Let's just say that I won't be able to go crazy and get the 12 inch sub at Subway anytime soon, and that being given a bathroom break every 28 hours is considered a 'perk' of the job. Seriously, the contracts specifically say that they can't be asked to work more than 120 hours in a 125 hour period unless, you know, the star has something to do the next day and needs to get the scene finished right away.) On the other hand, it's a huge chunk of time, almost certainly peon work that could be handled by your average spider monkey, and a big disruption in what has been a decent creative season for me. Yeah there's the opportunity for making contacts, but most of the contacts you make as a P.A. are of the other P.A.s variety.

Nonetheless I guess this is a Positive Development In My Life (R). After all it's yet another small step up the long ladder that is Hollywood. Only it's in New York. And it's more of a lateral move than anything else. And it isn't likely to go anywhere. Okay, all in all it's just another brick in the wall. I will maintain a positive outlook, though. After all I just saw three flashes of blue light from across the Hudson River. That means further orders should be arriving shortly. Stay tuned for all the gory details.
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