Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Bad drinker

Different people have different reactions to alcohol. Some become angry and belligerent. Some become overly friendly and horny. Some spout anti-semitic tirades and refer to female police officers as "Sugar Tits." I wish I was one of those kinds of people. Alcohol doesn't fuel my rage or give me beer goggles. A six-pack of Coors won't have me seig-heiling on 42nd street. Instead alcohol just makes me...tired.

I got drunk last night with a friend of mine. We were drinking Sauvignon Blanc, because we're manly men of youth and vigor who can appreciate a dry table wine with just a soupcon of Camembert in the nose. Soon after we cracked the second bottle I found myself looking for a place to put my head. "I'm just gonna relax" I told myself. "Just rest my eyes."

Within two minutes I was snoring.

And it doesn't matter where I am. I could be in a crowded bar full of other young people having exciting and fun young people times. I could be walking down the side of a highway. I could be fleeing through the woods, running from killer zombies (Although this would be an odd time to start drinking.) I WILL want to find a place to lay my head, and if I succeed in this I WILL drift off to dreamlland.

This makes me, I think, the complete opposite of most people who don't drink a lot. I am an anti-social drinker. Instead of lubricating my conversations booze makes everyone else really boring and makes me start every word with "Zzzzz."

On the plus side I am unlikely to drink and drive. Sleep it off you say? DON'T MIND IF I DO.
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