Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

I miss her

It's been only two full days since she took that plane back to the Rocky Mountains and her beloved Grand Junction. Those have been two days of pretty intense illness. Still, in between the hacking coughs and spurts of various bodily fluids I have had time for a few lucid thoughts. And most of them have been about how I miss having her around to joke with, touch, and just lie next to. We had intimacy, at least I think we did, and that's something very special. It's nice to be able to let your guard down around another human being, and part of that is physical. It's not always about sex so much as breaking down barriers.

I'm not sure what's going to happen between us. We'll probably continue like this for awhile and then maybe one of us will move to be closer to the other, or perhaps our lives will be too rooted where they are and that won't be a possibility. Long distance things are hard, and declarations of "Oh, we'll be together in six months or a year" ignore the vagaries and randomness of life. All we can say is that we WANT to be together. And I do want to be with her. And that's not really a possibility at the moment (though it may be one in the relatively near future, we'll see) and of course that sucks.

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