Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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I'm only happy when it's complicated

Wow. Teaching the GED course gave me my first pleasurable/energizing experience of the week. And it was F U N Fun. I got like a volunteerism high or something. I had been looking for something to make me feel good about myself and feel like I fit in somewhere and I FOUND it. When I was in front of the class they didn't care about what music I liked or even what I looked like (Average age of around 30 or so, they're there to learn not to get crushes on the teacher) they just cared about how much knowledge I had and how well I could communicate it. And I think I did well. For once being smart was pure advantage (although at times I tended to go too fast and gloss over too much stuff) and I felt needed and wanted. It was very very nice.

This also gives me hope for the future when I'm actually working at a job because I tend to be happy when I'm producing something of value or providing a meaningful service. I feel important and people react to me well and I have a great time. Maybe I should volunteer for some more stuff, but the thing is that I hate just being another pair of hands. I like it when I'm intellectually stimulated and challanged and when I have unique or special skills that can be put to use rather than just being a warm body in the crowd. That's why soup kitchening never really appealed to me. I'd join a big brother program except I'd make a pretty lousy big brother, not preparing most kids for the kind of lives they want to lead but instead suggesting intellectualism and moralism as the paths that they should follow.

Anyway I have a paper due tomorrow but it's just a 2 pager so it shouldn't be much of a problem. I should get started soon though. Later. I'm happy for once though. This is nice. Viva La Volunerism! N stuff
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