Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I'm a thief

So I go to my mom's house to pack a few things and use the treadmill. I see there's another package for her, this one from She comes home and asks what it is. We open it. It's a toaster oven.

"But I meant to order a toaster. I don't want a toaster oven."
"Okay, let's keep the box. You can return it."
"No, I don't want to. It's too much trouble..."
"I guess I can take care of..."
"Hey, do you have a toaster at your new place?"
"Do you want one?"
"I was kind of thinking about getting one, but..."
"You take it. I don't want to return it. We'll call it a Channukah present."
"But mom I don't want to steal your appliances..."
"Take it, I don't want it."

My mom's 65 years old. I have become the young son who returns to his elderly mother's house and steals her appliances rather than buying his own. I didn't mean to become that guy. I just wanted to use the treadmill (paid for it with my own money) and see my mother (who said she missed me.) Now I've stolen a toaster and become a habitual lowlife who robs his own mother.

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