Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Looking at your tits

One of my LJ friends, a woman I respect deeply, complained that a coworker of hers had looked at her breasts when he should have been addressing her eye to eye, as a sign of respect. Now I'm not going to bring up that old saw that looking at a woman's breasts is a compliment, but I am going to argue that it is, in fact, a nice thing to do. Why? Because, ladies, when we look at your tits we're providing you with a valuable service. We're letting you know that we're scumbags.

See when a man treats you as an equal you never know if it's because he's a sincere, honest, human being, or he's just slick. How many times have you had a guy act all respectful and stuff only to make an attempt to slip you the old salami when the time was right? Lots of times. We're manipulative bastards, we are.

But a guy who looks at your chest? He's being honest. He's saying "You may have a wonderful mind and a great personality, but HOT DAMN, them's some nice hooters." He's letting you know what matters to him is the flesh. The stereotypical response to tit-looking is "My eyes are up here." Guess what, ladies; we don't need an anatomy lesson. We know where your eyes are. We're sure they're quite lovely. We'd rather look at your breasts.

So the next time a guy looks at your jubblies don't think "What a jerk." Think "What an honest jerk." Like the bright red Amazon poison arrow frog he may be toxic, but at least he's honest about it.
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