Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Knot a good night.

The last fourteen hours have been wracked with that unique combination of Oww and Eww that only a really nasty stomach condition can bring. I'm starting to feel the stress of all the work I have to get done, specifically my stupid unstructured PITA psych paper, and of course that means that I can get even less work done.

From time to time I wonder whether I am actually lazy or just have too many interests. I mean there's not too much that I do that I don't take seriously at some level it's just that since I don't know what I'm interested in I tend to try to cram everything I can in. I try to keep track of goings on in football and anime and video games and network TV and schoolwork and with my friends and maybe it's just too much.

The thing is that I'm not good at being patient and I don't feel like effort gets rewarded. What the fuck is virtue anyway? Is it really just following what other people tell you without any evidence for yourself? Is virtue just obedience?

I'm obviously tired

The giants are having a losing season. That sucks.

I do have beliefs and I intend to stand firm by them, but am I sane in a crazy world or visa versa? We're all supposed to save the world but at what point do you ask whether the world is worth saving? This is the holiday season, where every song is "You're nobody 'till somebody loves you" and every person is supposed to be even more clannish and family favoritist than they usually are. That's one of the things I hate about people, they act like a particular action is different in nature depending on their opinion of the person who commited it. I can't make myself believe that. Wrong is wrong and right is right, that's the position I have to do my best to stick to. It's hard but it's right.

It's right but it's lonely.

End Rant
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