Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I can't help thinkin' what the hell they were drinkin' when they made this county dry

So I'm on my third decade now and I'm still wasting my time like it was unlimited. This one has been going pretty quietly so far, except for waking up at 5:30 and being unable to get back to sleep. It's spooky to be up that early when the world is still dark because that was when I used to talk to my dad (He would wake up at 3:00 AM and I'd get up at 5:00 and we'd watch the sunrise) but at least it means I'll be able to sleep away some of this hideous day. I got a card from my grandfather's old girlfriend (she was driven away by the caretaker who stole 100 thousand dollars from me, but she occasionally touches base) and a gift certificate from my aunt and that's about it. Oh well, I guess I really don't expect people to remember this day since I don't make any effort to remind them of my existance. I just feel.....even more irrelevant than usual on days like this. Nobody gives a fuck and that's okay, but it's sometimes irritating when its thrown in your face and the birthday/christmas double strike can be a bit much. Of course if people DO recognize my birthday I get pissed but I don't think I've ever claimed to be entirely rational.

No new grades to report so I'm still stressed about that. Sheesh, you know it's sometimes such a pain in the ass just to be ALIVE I can't even THINK about worrying about other stuff. Just continuing to EXIST causes me stress.

Well I'm 20 and nothing much is different. Ain't gonna celebrate ain't gonna get no gifts, just gonna ride it out.

At least I can be thankful that despite being another day older I am not deeper (or at all) in debt. That's somethin'.
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