Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I think I'm ready. Ready to break free of the remainders of my chains and go out there and live. Ready to breathe for real and take a risk or three. Ready to face what I've always known I'd eventually have to face anyway. I'm not scared right now, unique for me, and I feel like I've been hoping to feel for awhile. Like my legs are underneath me and my hands are to the sides and I am finally balanced enough to withstand the winds of change without being knocked over. I'm also extremely tired, but that's fine. Doesn't bother me. I'm ready. Woot.

I change like this, quickly and seemingly without reason. I shift like this not because it's easy for me to turn into something that I'm not but because what I'm actually doing is leaving behind the things I'm not and becoming what I've always thought myself to be. I can't live like I've been living for much longer, it's not productive and it's not fun. It serves no purpose anymore, just protection from demons that I'm now strong enough to face. I know that I will slip back before I get where I'm going, and that the transformation will be reversed, but I also feel that I must, can, and will perservere. Head down, nostrils flared, half a sneer and half a grin, I'm ready to greet the sun and do what must be done.
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