Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Sleepless nights and endless days and all I do is promise to change my ways

Well today is the first day of school for the new semester and I'm a little worn out from my latest self made melodrama. At least this time it was relatively short and not a month long fall into smitteness and anguish. But I have to get myself together now because school is starting back up and I want to be on the ball this semester. Gotta keep improving and keep working towards actually doing some work.

And yet...I have no motivation at the moment. Maybe it's just the coming back from time off blues, maybe it's the profound disapointment of the last couple days, maybe it's just this cold I have. But I have class in 2 hours that I need to be ready for cause it's the second semester of a two semestern course and we're gonna jump right in. No way that I can do the 200 page reading in time but I can perhaps start it and maybe get ready for the level of focus I'm going to need to make some meaningful comments and keep my class participation up.

At least my friend Hee-Ann will be back from California soon, someone to talk to who has at least a MODICUM of maturity. But still I can't help but dread the start up costs for the semester. The emotional and mental strain required to get up and running, like an accelerating engine trying to go zero to sixty as fast as possible. (That's miles not Kilometers per hour for the foreign crowd) And it's made worse by the memory of her, clinging to my mind like the scent of the last pomegranete of the season. A distraction I don't need, can't take, can't escape. College is supposed to be training us for life in and out of the classroom. Let's see, boredom and busywork in the class and soul-rending loneliness and rejection outside. Yep, seems pretty much what I expect from my life. I'd write more but I have to read something some guy who died several thousand years ago wrote, probably while drunk. That's how we get educated you know.
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