Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Hey you never made it, now ain't that unusual

I wrote a post last night about how tired I was blah blah blah but when I went to post it I accidentily reset my computer before it went through so it got erased and I just decided to head off to bed because my eyes were petitioning my brain to FINALLY LET THEM SHUT. Here are some bullet points.

-Wow I was tired.

-Really tired

-I was sorry that I wasted my time with Jeff due to my being both overstressed and disapointed at his not having read the journal because I feel that after cutting back to 1 session a week this becomes an even more important method of communication.

-I wasn't sure the new appointment time with Jeff would work unless I took a cab which I don't want to because I'd feel like I was wasting money even though I probably wouldn't be. Plus it might be tough to catch a cab during rush hour anyway.

-I wasn't sure I could maintain the schedule based on how exhausted I was last night but I DO feel better this morning after 9 hours of sleep so maybe I can if I just accept that I need to get to bed really early on tuesday nights.

-GED teaching is good but exhausting. My new class has a bunch of hooligan types in it but I think I can keep them in check. I really want to keep it up because it makes me feel like I'm making a positive contribution to people who actually matter as opposed to just myself who does not.

-I was really REALLY tired.

Even now as I type this I am feeling time pressure. I have to get some reading done before JUSTICE class and after that I have to exercise then go to other classes etc etc. This is going to be a fairly rough semester obviously and I'm going to have to make sacrifices. But I don't want Livejournal to be one. I already cut way down on various entertainments but I need to maintain this outlet for the good of my mental health. I really do.

The only danger that I feel right now is that my workload will act like anesthesia, preventing me from actually feeling my pain or reality and from DOING anything about it. When there's always the next class or assignment to think about personal growth can be hurled out the window. But maybe I do spend too much time navel gazing and this'll be good for me. Round and round I go in these logical loops. I could argue this for hours but I'm out of time. Gotta go prepare for one of my three classes today. And maybe, just maybe, that's a good thing.

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