I'll be fine, you're not even on my mind, believe me I'll be fine
And so the weak whimpers across the finish line to the end. To tell the truth I sort of tuned it out after wednesday but I did manage to get through it okay without doing any permanent damage to my grades, self esteem, or anything else. The thing is that instead of feeling relieved or pleased I feel kind of....empty. I feel like although I've managed to engage most of my subjects to some extent I don't have a firm GRIP on things like I have in the past. In re-evaluating where exactly my time goes I have come to grips with just how much time and effort I put into exercises of thought and self-reflection. It is far from insignificant, and I wonder whether it's wise. I mean I do feel that an unexamined life is rather....eh....but I seem not to have time to LIVE life in the way I'd like and if I didn't have this powerful urge to process my existance and FIGURE STUFF OUT maybe I would feel less pressed for time in the actual living.
I guess it all ends up being a very subtle balancing act which I have yet to master. I don't quite understand how to go about carrying out the actual processes of life yet and it causes all kinds of problems. I wonder if there's a self help book for this.