Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic
  • Mood: restless
  • Music: Chris Isaac - Speak of the Devil

I'll be fine, you're not even on my mind, believe me I'll be fine

And so the weak whimpers across the finish line to the end. To tell the truth I sort of tuned it out after wednesday but I did manage to get through it okay without doing any permanent damage to my grades, self esteem, or anything else. The thing is that instead of feeling relieved or pleased I feel kind of....empty. I feel like although I've managed to engage most of my subjects to some extent I don't have a firm GRIP on things like I have in the past. In re-evaluating where exactly my time goes I have come to grips with just how much time and effort I put into exercises of thought and self-reflection. It is far from insignificant, and I wonder whether it's wise. I mean I do feel that an unexamined life is rather....eh....but I seem not to have time to LIVE life in the way I'd like and if I didn't have this powerful urge to process my existance and FIGURE STUFF OUT maybe I would feel less pressed for time in the actual living.

I guess it all ends up being a very subtle balancing act which I have yet to master. I don't quite understand how to go about carrying out the actual processes of life yet and it causes all kinds of problems. I wonder if there's a self help book for this.
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