Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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When I grow up I'll be stable

The thunderhead of my discontent has broken upon the shores of a beautiful spring morning and I can't help but smile about it. I don't know why but looking out at the beautiful spring morning I feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe I'm just lightheaded from lack of sleep, but I don't think that's it. I feel free, like winter's finally over and there's going to be nothing ahread but sunshine and lazy days in hazy fields pulling at grass and soaking up sun. Of course this is patently untrue (Spring break lasts but a week my little chickadees) and I normally hate summer but for once I feel really good. Maybe it's because of the release from inhibitions I can look forward to later today (Nobody will complain about my playing video games and eating unhealthy ice cream after I get my wisdom teeth drilled and scraped from my jawbone) but I think it's something more fundemental. For the first time in a long time I am looking forward to sweaty uncomfortable insomniac summer. I want very much to go back up to Maine and lie in the sun and just exist for awhile. It feels like I was just there...where did the winter go? I'm looking forward to smaller more intimate summer classes (although this time if my gut says "Stay away from her, move seats to avoid her and don't make eye contact" I will pay it MUCH more mind. Once bitten twice shy and all that) where I can try to actually meet some people. Of course I still have to polish off this semester but that isn't going to be TOO difficult. I've done 8 weeks and I get a nice break before the final 6. To be honest I'm not sure why I feel good but I really do, and I'm going to make an effort to ENJOY this summer. To get out and go for walks beneath the cherry blossoms in riverside park. To get the hell out of the city when I can.

Breath In Breath out breath breath breath. Life CAN be good and there ain't no sane man who ever lived who couldn' take pleasure in sunshine glinting off pure lakewater or the twittering of birds on a lazy summer afternoon. Except blind and deaf people...okay fine they have rights too..yeah yeah...fucking deconstructuralists.
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