Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Is it good for you?

Today was somewhat better than I expected. Japanese discussion section was pretty decent, although we were talking about a novel so I did most of the talking (Hey, I actually READ it this time.) The novel was about loneliness and isolation and I left class in a pretty lonely isolated mood (My dream didn't help much with that.) I wandered over to the bookstore to get another book for my anthro class and on the way I think someone called my name. They called it twice since I didn't respond the first time (I was listening to my CD player) but I didn't check to see who it was. Sounded like a female (Not She-Who-I-Shouldn't-Be-Talking-About though, she would never be so crass as to actually shout my name) but I guess I'll never know. Maybe it was someone else named Ben or just something that sounded like Ben that they were shouting (at).

The store had already sent back the book I needed. Great gonna have to find it elsewhere. (Checked the B&N at 67th street, no luck)

Justice Tutorial was alright. Professor Johnston made some interesting comments and whatnot. After the class I talked to the TA and sorted out the paper thing with her. Turns out that she had mis understood but I HAD been a little unclear. Still my logic was not faulty, it was just my presentation that left something to be desired (as I knew in advance.) The TA said not to worry about the grade and that it had been a good paper so I assume I am in pretty good shape in that class. She also asked if I knew what I was doing my final paper on yet and implied she was looking forward to reading it. So that was okay.

Next I went to a stupid GED training session. First I sat there for about half an hour while other people enjoyed pizza soda and chips. Fun. It's great to be the only guy who can't enjoy tasty food and even better to have nothing better to do than watch people eat. After the presentation finally started it was a total wash. It was all about Critical thinking and other crap that's great in theory but extremely impractical to implement in such a short program. I made lots of comments and looked pretty smart though, so that was okay.

I left the GED thing early to go to my Anthro discussion section. I didn't even HAVE the book for that one but I still made the most, and the best, comments because that's just what I do. Fortunatly there were no masculine/feminine issues about this book so I was dealing with actual sane people. Plus Derrick was there so it wasn't a total chickfest.

After that it was workout, chill, write in here, go to movie...etc. It was a fairly good day all things considered though and I'm kind of glad I resisted so much in the way of food temptation. It's something I need to learn how to do.

Oh, and if anyone cares...

Or what I remember of it.

It was the summer. I could tell because it was hot out and it was still light even though it was 7 PM. I had also lost a good deal of weight so I figure it was THIS coming summer. Anyway I was showing Gabe around the campus because he wanted to apply to grad school at Columbia and wanted to check out the facilities firt. Yes I realize that Gabe probably already KNOWS the Columbia campus, but shut up. Anyway I'm showing him Butler library and pointing to the nightclub in the top floor (It's not real) when I see Her. She's standing in line for the Nightclub. Our eyes meet for a second and I just look up passively. She starts to hurry down the stairs towards the ground floor where Gabe and I are and I tell him I'm going to show him something else and we walk off slowly. She reaches the lobby and catches up to us. She turns to me and says hello. Then she says she's sorry she never wrote me back and asks if I would like to have dinner with her that night, handing me her phone number because email has proven to be so ineffective. She asks for my phone number but I demure because I'm embarassed about living at home. I introduce Gabe and her and Gabe starts to say something about how obsessive I've been etc. I grab him by the collar of his white polo shirt and drag him off, shouting over my shoulder that I'd like to meet her for dinner. Then Gabe goes home and I head home with the number. I call her and we meet up. It skips to after dinner and we're walking along talking about how long it took for us to get together and how interesting we find eachother etc...

Then I wake up.

My reading:

Gabe was in it because I was talking to him on AIM that night before I went to bed.
My interaction with her represents a desire for closure that's still there, a desire for her to actually come talk to me for once instead of the other way around.
The Nightclub in Butler represents how irrational I feel Columbia to be at times and the two-facedness of its supposed academic focus while so many students party.
The fact that she was up there on the top floor represents how I see her as beyond my grasp and having to come down to meet me.

The waking up represents the cruelty of reality.

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